Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Tired eyes and uncertain hands

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It has been a while. Not for lack of want, but mainly for lack of brain material to get something out that I thought you guys might actually want to read.  Then I thought I would maybe just write, and if you got bored, you could exit the window, curse Rebekah for her daftness, and think of it no more.

I am tired. My hands feel a little strange and uncertain and the dog behind me is doing just what I want to: snoring loudly and deep in the softness of a dream. Last week is a stooped and withered dream.  I usually pride myself in being someone who doesn't need a lot of sleep to function; I like to play a game with myself, see how much I can do in a period of time before I need to recuperate or sleep, but last week took my bones and wore them out, then placed them haphazardly back in my body.  Believe or not, I actually liked, no, thoroughly liked, last week. But it was long. Longer than seven days should be.

You should know, in the space of not writing to you, my family and I, found (rather, God provided) and began attending a church. It has been a while since we've had one, a time full of hurt tinged endings at our last church, tired searching in between, and perhaps giving up for periods of time; feeling like maybe God had abandoned me. Stupidly, of course. Because everything that happens to me is not just something that accidentally happened that God's going to fix, but something He planned from the beginning that is far, far better for me, than any dim-witted, uncertain plan I could come up myself. It's comforting, isn't it?

So, back onto the subject of last week, we helped prepare the church for a band that came over just last Sunday. It was a crazy whirlwind, or a slow uphill battle, but it was good. It was more than good to work and fellowship and get to know some of the different characters in our church.

After the craziness, though, the long week full of interesting new faces to study, my body decided it was time to stop and rest. My mind, too, because, unfortunately, I'm not an extrovert who feeds off other's energy and being around a lot of people for extended periods of time makes me not want to talk for several hours.
I'll tell you another horrible secret, I like being tired if it's for a good cause.
So, sitting here, in the wee hours, with tired eyes and uncertain hands, I am happy.
My hands may be uncertain, but I know One who's are not.
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What a warbly, nonsensical spout of words. I'm sorry about them, but I'm not sorry that I'm back to blogging. It is an amazing feeling that 60 people (I know, it sounds like a small number to all you blogger savvies), somewhere in the world, are actually interested in what I say.  Thank you, loves.  Also, I caved and got a pinterest account, check it out if you dare.

20 comments:

  1. I still think/talk about you as "One of my best blogging friends" so I'm very happy that you're back :)

    Ah. That third paragraph, I could have written. Searching for a church is so discouraging and wearying, especially when you've been hurt by previous churches. I'm glad you've found a place.

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    1. Aww... <---ugh, awww, what a disgustingly girly sound.

      But seriously, I consider you one of my best bloggie friends, too. Yes, I am too.

      I know. It's so hard. God has something wonderful in store for you, though, completely in His time, which I have been discovering more and more lately is not in my time at all (and I found I can so easily not even see his hand, because I forget to look at it in any other perspective than my own). I'll be praying for you, dear.

      Eeep, letter to you soon.
      Love,
      Rebekah

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  2. I'm at a loss for words, really. But I'll try to say at least something. Your heart is so beautiful and your words slip and spill off the screen and mesmerise me in such a poignant way. Photography is a delicate art and you've mastered it.

    Also, I'm so glad you've come back to blogging. It's lovely to have you back. :-)

    Acacia xxx

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    1. Acacia. I appreciate your words so much. Literally. Your comment is written better than my post. ;)) It makes me so happy.

      Thank you.

      And yes, I'm rather glad to be back, too.
      Love,
      Rebekah

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  3. okay.
    first of all, this is your blog. who cares what we want to read? if we follow your blog, we are interested in your life, your loves, your photos, we're just interested in you, and we like you for you, so even if it's boring to you, we will view as the opposite. :) so just be yourself on your blog, don't wait until you think of something we might like, because we like you! :D
    xx,
    sophie

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  4. This is so beautifully written! And the photos are lovely!
    Thank you so much for following and for the comment on my blog, it really means so much to me! I've literally just spent the last couple of hours stalking through your blog because it's so adorable and the photos are wonderful and you write so beautifully and just akshkfjjh! So much love :) Also, you're really pretty and your hair is amazing ;)
    Kimmy xxx

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    1. Awww (there goes that dang aww again. So girly it's reflexive). I'm glad you like my blog. I like yours (obviously) so much.

      Thank you and my hair... you wouldn't even want to see it right now. It is so extremely, grossly, dirty. Bleh.
      Love,
      Rebekah

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  5. If someone took a summary of all the different blogs of ours...i think they would fine all our blogs relatively the same....but yours is written so beautifully....

    Thanks for not leaving my hanging, and for joining the posting crowd....

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    1. Thanks, love. I know. I pretty much do all interesting stuff with you. I should just put a link on the bottom of your guys' if they want a different perspective of the same event.

      Yup, this post is because of you. ;)
      Here's to keeping it up.
      Love,
      Me

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  6. ditto sarah...seems as if we all live around the same area and are doing the same thing...duuuuuh.
    loved c-ing u...next time rememba da cam-mara!
    ps. you now have 61!

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    1. Haha. Actually I forgot the camera again last time.

      And THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE MOST AWESOME STORY IN THE HISTORY OF EVER!!!!!!
      I will treasure it forever.
      hehe.
      Love,
      Me

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  7. OHMY. These pictures are simply perfect. I love every single one. :) So sweet. :) And your comments always make my day! Seriously. :) Your the best. :) I actually will be posting lots more soon! :) I am actually working on re-launching my blog--sooo...yes I will be posting soon. :) Maybe even right now.

    xo.

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    1. Thank you. I'm really glad they make you happy. Your posts make me even happier. For some dreadful reason, I don't think your posts are appearing on my feed when you post. Horror! I'll just have to check your blog all the time.
      Love,
      Rebekah

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  8. I,m very glad that you are back to blogging and hope you won,t disappear again but it,s up to you of course :) Your posts are even more interesting and enjoyable to read if you do not write that often. I kinda danced around when I saw there was something new on the blog called My Blue Castle. :)

    I enjoyed every single word of the text and I fully relate to what you wrote about being surrounded by people for a long time. I feel exactly the same when I come home after school: saying something takes a lot of effort and I just want to sit in silence.

    I,m sending a big hug your way :)

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    1. Oh dear, thank you so very much, Vera. You make me so happy. Really. I love hearing from you. And stalking your blog. And reading emails from you. Yes, I know, I'll send the email back asap.

      Oh, good. Another introverted soul. I'm so glad. It does. It's sad sometimes how much I think a sentence before I even dare to say it out loud. But we must make the effort, I suppose.

      Thank you. An equally big hug your way.
      Love from Hawaii,
      Rebekah

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  9. I write my blog posts past midnight too. Why? Because that's the only time you can really think. When everything is quite and tucked away for the night. But my mind can only be tucked after it is tuckered out. AHAHAHA see what I did there?

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    1. Hahaha. So clever. Ok, fine, I admit it. I did laugh.

      I know, I know. I'll send a nasty comment on your post about video games real soon. Don't worry.
      See you soon.

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  10. hey girly! just stopped by to tell you that i changed my bloggity blog address. been having some problems with it but i think i got it all figured out! love ya!
    http://vividlyyours.blogspot.com/

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  11. Your words are so lovely and I find myself captivated with this post. oh, and your photos? They are completely wonderful.

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  12. Where have thou gone fair blogger friend?
    I miss your poetic ramblings appearing in my feed just when I need them.

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~Comments make me smile like an idiot and maybe dance around a bit~
P.S. Make sure to have email follow-ups because I will most likely get off my lazy bum and respond to your comments. ;)