The Beach Chronicles: Remember the Sea

Maybe it was the sun that faded into the deepest ocean. My thoughts, buried along with all tired emotions, turned and settled within me. I was the ocean, and I was the sky, almost dark, almost complete.

The waves were peaking. I felt my heart clutch, wind itself around the others which braved the dusk with me, the ocean connecting us, binding us. The heartbeat that was ours. We knew it as well as any unknowable thing might be captured in our finite minds. Our endless souls. I swept my eyes about the shore. Most of the boys, my siblings too, had left the water, severing themselves from the greater pulse of life, dying to a little part of their soul.

I was still burning, my heart, or the sea, still pumping. There was a boy beside me. I didn't know him well, his face almost a stranger in the dark, but our heartbeat, our ocean -- for at that moment it was only ours -- was the same. And in that moment, a beautiful, strange moment, it was perfection. The veil was lifted for a moment. This is Emily's flash, I thought. A glimpse into what we will know when we are finally completed.

I caught a wave, and the usual flutter of thoughts, indiscernible and scrambled, were absent. Remember this, I thought, as the wave peeled over me, and I carved down, an egg shaped hole of twilight guiding me out. remember. This is home. To my bones, I felt home.

At the end of the wave the salt water swallowed me, churned me up with the sand, and I was back to normality. Waiting, walking, running for the finish line.

But the veil was lifted for a moment. remember. A promise, His promise for the redeemed.

I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart.

I am, I am, I am.

The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath

Path to the Sea

In my opinion, everybody is born with a little sea deep in their soul. Sandy shores and crisp waves wash upon our inner spirits.  Some realize it at a young age, while others may never even glimpse the ocean in the entirety of their life. And yet it is still there.  

You might quickly write this off, and tell me, "But I've never liked the ocean; great, big, frightening thing." But maybe it's not quite the actuality of the sea that rests deep in your soul, but the representation of what it is.  The ocean is one of those great enigmas. One of those things you never quite understand, never see all of and yet, are still looking for it, trying to comprehend it.  

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to be in heaven? You know you won't know till you get there, and yet you still try to reach for that incomprehensible idea. 

I guess that's what the ocean is to me. Nobody will ever truly understand it; People study and study it; they think they have it just about figured out, but they will never know all of it. Because the sea is more than tide charts on lined paper, or carefully measured depths and studied reef. The sea is thousands of pieces from our souls, calling to us back. And that is why we keep returning.

That is why we all know the path to the sea by heart.

Jump, then fall

What was first easy confidence slowly faded into nervous bubbles dancing in tandem in my stomach, as I peered for too long a time off the ledge of South Point. My siblings, a couple of cousins, and an odd ragtag group of tourists, peered along with me. The tourist especially, kept a stable balance on the ledge, which made them look like little turtles, craning their heads out of their shells, to glimpse the endless blue.  I would have smiled, had I not felt as nervous as they looked.

But it was one of those things you would eternally regret not doing if you didn't do it; I could tell by the way the water lapped along the coastline; the way the wind slipped it's summery fingers through my hair and through the jittering thrum of my heartbeat in my chest. It called to me, a horribly beautiful whisper.

So, I jumped (obviously not as gracefully as I hoped).

The feeling after your butt (or wherever you happen to land on) stops stinging is pure euphoria. An adrenaline-induced high.  It is frighteningly addicting.

contemplating the pain

me, taking an awkward leap

a daring cousin and the first to jump off.

the ghoulish water-beings

safe on dry land

The drive back; south point

What do you do for a dose of crazy?

Confessions of a Beachaholic Homeschooler

 
So, it may or may not be afternoon, and I may or may not still be in my night clothes. Of course, though, I changed out of them for a bit, to frolic in the rain. Please, I'm not barbaric.  My hair is admittedly a train-wreck since I haven't bathed it since the last time I went to the beach (which I will not tell you when that was). And though I've responded to two letters, I haven't done any schoolwork (sorry mum).

The reason for my insanity? Well, to be honest, it's pretty normal. But I do have a good excuse (which is completely not normal).  I have been cast into a dreamy state of reverie since Spring Break. My mind keeps on falling back on the crazy, adventure filled days like one falls back on chocolate when they are craving.

Here is a quick recap of my spring break in pictures (mostly, but I'm sure you know I have troubling shutting up so they'll definitely be words, too).

Friday, May 23rd, 2012: Our friends from Oahu made a trip over here.

Rabbit holes and strange shoes... Our hiking adventure

"Adventure is out there!"

Saturday: We went to a black sand beach, then walked over to the cave.

We went to a underground cave, that has icy cold, fresh water.  Nuff' said.

The water

Sunday: All seven of us girls went adventuring around the island.

Jumping off rocks (yes, I know, my hair looks strange to say the least)

We then traveled to Pololu Valley

Shanae's very cool film camera

This is us... Completely strange

I think in runs in the family

Our beautiful sunset as we headed home

Monday: Thrift shopping, Antique shopping, and Girls' night out

The "herd" of girls at the Antique Shop... The guy who works there actually asked if we wanted a picture. He probably thought our squeezing seven girls into one small table was funny.

Akela

Shanae

Kiana

Tia

Sisters

More sisters

Girls' night out

Tuesday: Another beach morning

Kalei's awesome bubble glasses

More of Shanae's breathtaking underwater photography

And my brother, Isaac... Ehm.

Besties

A sad farewell as our friends were off back to Oahu

Wednesday: Hiking trip with more friends. Sadly no pictures, because although I was intelligent enough to bring the camera in the car, I forgot to bring it out.

Thursday: Beach day with the family.

Our lovely, deserted beach, Kua Bay

Friday: Tea party/surprise party for another dear friend.

Ellie

Sarah

My gorgeous friend and now eighteen year old, Kimberly

"It's a camera!"

Saturday: Two more beach sessions

So, even though I sit here, makeup slightly smudged because I fell asleep before I got to wash it off, nightclothes slightly damp from the residue of my rainy escapade, hair now a wet mess, I am happy. Gloriously happy. Oh, it's good to be homeschooled, have wonderful friends, live by the ocean.

Oh, it's good to be alive in God.

P.S. Sorry for the unendurable length of this post. Maybe it makes up for the lateness. I'll blame it on late nights and Owl City.
P.S. #2 This post is dedicated to Lidja who so kindly asked me for another post.